Teach Me

Peace....


I'm teachable. The reason I say that is because there have been times in my life where I recognized that (a) I didn't know something and (b) took steps to rectify the issue. Examples....

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a little boy. I can't say I identified as a boy because I liked a lot of the girl stuff. It's just that being a girl is an inconvenience compared to being a boy. IJS... Also I had a brother who I wanted to be just like. At some point, I realized that I liked being a girl and boys weren't so bad. But I realized around age 10 hadn't learned little intricacies of little girldom. I couldn't jump double dutch.

Double dutch is a big deal to little girls when and where I grew up. It defined you as a female. The better you jumped, the more worthier you were. I couldn't jump well. That didn't stop me from playing. But, if you know anything about DD, it meant I always had the end. After always having the end, I realized that I wasn't going to get better at jumping. I'd just be really good at turning.

That summer I scouted out some other chronic end-havers and the YMCA summer camp I was attending and brokered a deal with them. Seriously, it was all business like that. It was the 3 of us who couldn't jump. We sequestered ourselves in an unused area of the camp and took turns jumping until we got good. We gave each other tips about what we observed. And by the end of camp, all 3 of us were good enough to jump with the best of the girls and we got respect. LOL @ respect from 10 year olds...

I never learned to play jacks either. I found out that my mother discouraged jacks because she never wanted to inadvertently step on one with her bare feet. I never gave it thought like that. Until I was in an after school program (yeah... my mother was always busy) and jacks was the thing. Since by then I was nice in DD and NO ONE could out jump me.... I had a certain level of female respect. But I couldn't play jacks. And jacks was a big deal there. The reigning jack champ challenged me and my stupid ass thought it was all in fun. She was kind of a mean girl, but I have always been big for my age (though not tall) and I sport a mug still to this day. She beat the brakes off me. She was a jacks savant. Well you know what happened.... I got hold of some money and bought 3 sets of jacks. Them things are little and I expected to lose a few. And every waking hour that I didn't have something going on I played. While at the CYO, I only jumped rope, but I watched... When the annual jacks tournament came, I entered. I worked my way up from the bottom to challenge the jacks queen. She and I were in the final round. She won... but she worked for that win. When it was over, she complimented me on my game and asked me if I had been playing with her before.

My mother doesn't listen to music. So I didn't listen to music. But teenagers listen to music. It's not a peer pressure thing because once I started, I found I liked music. But I had no knowledge of music before 1982. That's not so bad as a teen, because most contempories are concerned about what's current. I covered my ignorance by always knowing every lyric of every song on the radio. My mother didn't do albums (yes I'm old) either. She would get mad if we bought them even with our own money. She might break them... Yeah, I still don't know... but she didn't know anything about cassettes. So I'd load up on cassettes... or buy them off of friends to dub songs so that I could learn them. I know... As I got older and older people have more refined tastes, my lack of “old school” became more apparent. So... I taught myself old school. I would find old albums and ask older people what was the hotness and learn all the songs so that I could literally... fake the funk. It's worked. But I know I don't know as much as others. But now when I hear a name... I have spotify and the internet to educate me. I must be the only 40 something Black person who had never heard of the Barkays...

My mother is serious about her cards. She is old school so she taught me to play 500, and whist... but not spades. I am NOT proficient in bid whist. I can be your partner until your other partner gets back from the beer run. I'm good with that right now. I might learn later but right now... I'm good. I'm not extroverted enough to go looking for whist players. And whist players have their own underground secret squirrel network. But my spades game was lacking. When I went to college, I thought I was playing a friendly game with some classmates. If you know spades on an HBCU campus... there is no such thing. One of my tightest female friend and her friends could beat anybody on the yard... and had that distinction for the 4 years they were in attendance.... including teachers! My friend was a math genius. She could count cards. I don't know why she hasn't made a life for herself as a poker shark.... Their skill was legendary. But before they got famous... I asked her to tell me what was wrong with my game. I wasn't about to get my feelings hurt unnecessarily. I was either going to be good, or I wasn't going to play. So me and my boyfriend sat down and played a game with these 2. The bf was a solid player. Not a shit talking trophy winner, but decent. The 3 of them completely and painfully critiqued my game. Explained nuances that I hadn't noticed. I knew to NOT renege, but I hadn't understand how to read the cards and watch other people while still playing along with my partner. They got me straight. And with nightly practice, by my sophomore year I was good enough to play in the student center. By senior year I could shit-talk with the best of them. I have even won a trophy!

I'm teachable. I am able and honest enough to see when I lack and then decide if there is something I want to do about it. There is lots of things in my life that I know need changing... but I'm not necessarily ready or willing to change. Then there are other things that I have forced myself to learn. The internet is one of those things. I was in my 30's when it came to prominence. Long removed from formal education. I had to figure out blogs, and social media and so forth. The older you get it's hard to learn things, because you have so much to unlearn in the process. I am a 1st class seamstress. I am also self taught. I even 1'ed 120 in my 30's because I can learn new stuff. There is a lot I can do that no one personally taught me... because I'm teachable.

Are you?


Peace